The Cutest Couple Ever....

Here is Bill and Elsa Foelker...he is 89 and she is 88 1/2....unfortunately Elsa is failing in her health.  On October 5th, I don't know what changed, but whatever it was made a difference for Elsa.  She started sleeping the days away and was unable to get out of bed...we feared the worst was coming, so we called Hospice and they came out that Sunday and we got Elsa all registered to receive the Hospice Hospitality.  Since then, we have had down days and then some better days.  She does try to sit up on the couch for a little while each day...and like most of us, she does tire of just laying in bed!!  Although, I do have a very cute story to share.  On the Sunday that Hospice came for the intake of information, the nurse asked to see Elsa, so I brought her into the bedroom.  Elsa was laying on her stomach and didn't even lift her head.  I leaned over the bed and said hi and asked how she was doing.  Her reply was:  "I am pretending to be sick so I can just stay in bed all day!"  I thought that was so sweet..she had a little chuckle after she said it and I told her to just pretend all she wants!!  This day the picture is taken started out very rough...Elsa did not sleep very much during the night, she just wanted to talk and talk and talk (according to the care giver) and she has been having some very vivid dreams and last night was no exception...she went to three parties!!  And apparently there were pirates around.  When Scott and I got to their house in the morning, she told us that it was not a dream, that it was all real...As hard as this is for Elsa, I do believe it is even harder on Bill...he sees his wife sleeping away her life, and not eating and that really bothers him...he escapes to the back room to wipe away his tears...But tonight after dinner, I asked him to sit next to Elsa so I could get a picture of the two of them and I do believe this is one of the best pictures they have ever taken...their smiles are just perfect and Bill's arm wrapped around Elsa is just so endearing.  Bill is being such a great sport about having three different care givers come into his home to assist in the care of Elsa.  He knows that he is not capable of lifting her or helping her to stand, and he knows we cannot be there 24/7, so it is okay with him and he does like all three ladies...tonight he said that he knew Barb would be fine when he witnessed her fixing Elsa's pillows behind her back and also when she was feeding Elsa...that alone gives him great comfort.  The confidence in the care givers allows him to take care of himself...he takes two naps a day and is usually in bed by 7 PM.  I commend Bill for being so very patient in allowing strangers to kind of make themselves at home in his home...that is not an easy situation.  So we take one day at a time and pray a lot...we pray that Elsa will not suffer and right now she does not have any pain, for that we are most thankful.

Now,since this blog is about remembering the past when I am in the future, I best share a few more stories...because they are allowing us to laugh with Elsa and to enjoy these days with her.  She is not taking any narcotics (they really make her loopy) but the doctor told us that often when end of life is nearing, the person has very vivid dreams and that seems to be what Elsa is going through right now.  We have had quite a few chuckles about the parties she has been too, and I have been with her....I kind of play along and ask her what we were wearing and she tells me that she can't remember!  So then I tell her she needs to pay closer attention to those details...I am curious if I was all decked out to the nines!!  She told me that if the parents of the kids at the parties knew she was there, they would want to get rid of her!  I asked her if she was a wild thing and she just laughs and says "OH, YES!"  and then we both just laugh!  One night she was out visiting about 5 homes...and the strange thing to her was that the homes all had the same furniture and accessories as her house!  She sat on the couch and pointed to a picture on the wall and said, "OH, now see that picture?  that was in those houses too!  Now why would anyone buy a stupid picture like that?"  I must admit to having fun with her although I don't think it is fun for Bill...he doesn't understand and gets confused about the things she is saying.  Scott told him that she is pulling memories for the past and getting them all mixed in with present things and so it doesn't always make sense to anyone...but in my opinion, it is better to just go along and not make her think she is losing her marbles or questioning everything she says...that does not serve a very good purpose and could do some mental damage to her...so for now, we laugh and enjoy the real dreams!

We were telling the care giver about John and Robin, who happened to be at the beach the first week of the Hospice care and Scott and I were trying to get 24/7 care for Elsa.  Elsa's comment was that John and Robin are 'deformed'...now she didn't mean that in a bad way...it was her way of saying that both John and Robin have some disabilities...and truly I think that is the work she was looking for, but it came out deformed.  Scott could hardly wait to share that story with his brother!!!  He got a big kick out of that one...and when he told John the story, John just cracked up laughing too!

When the doctor came to visit, she pointed to me and said I was Doctor Colleen...and John is much better than Scott with the medication...or in Elsa's words (trying to be politically correct here) "at least he seems to be better"..   So then Scott's comment was that at least he was the better looking one!!

The other night when we walked into the LR where Elsa was sitting, she asked Scott if he goes to school.  He told her NO.  She then said, "Well what do you do all day?"  And he replied, "Well, I just kind of hang around."  To that she says, "OH!  So you are one of those hanger arounders!!"  See what I mean about her cracking us up...really she has us in stitches!

So for now we are enjoying the banter, the good times and the laughing and telling of stories...even the crazy and wild ones...this is quite a ride we are all on...I know the end will be coming and it will be a very sad day...

All for now, I will keep this story going so that we will keep the memories alive..the good ones, the good times, the joy and laughter we can all share about our dear sweet Elsa Foelker.